I mentioned that I had a story for you, and some photos and videos to share with you.This is just me, talking openly, about what’s going on in my life…
I weighed in at 144.4 pounds this morning. That’s 10 pounds heavier than my low weight a few months ago.
I haven’t gone off plan, I’ve been eating pretty much the same as usual, and I am simply NOT losing weight.
I’m bloated, squishy and gross – which means I’m NOT in ketosis (which is the weight loss issue).
I really miss that “keto lean” feeling. 🙄
I’ve been sick for more than 3 months. I just finished a second 10-day round of antibiotics, among other prescriptions & OTC meds. I also went on and off an antidepressant during that time. So I can only guess those are the factors in my weight problems: the meds, and just being sick in general.
Work on what you CAN…
I’ve been getting in some GOOD exercise lately, at least.
I’m just going to have to keep it up and play the long game here. Especially now that I am OFF all the meds, which will hopefully help. I look FINE at this size anyway (dressed at least, lol) – so I am NOT allowing myself to stress over it.
I know that stress can stall your weight loss, keep you from getting well, and just plain isn’t fun – so there’s no point stressing, lol.
I decided to work on what I *can* for now (exercise), take good care of myself, try to work out the emotional end of my life right now, and focus on the positives..
I’m in a size Medium in my Fabletics now, down from a Large (and XL in some pieces). I’m wearing a size 8 pants/shorts – with plenty of room in them, and have to wear a belt to keep them up actually.
So a size 6/8 right now. Down from sizes 18, 16, 14, 12, 10…
“Everything is fine.”
That’s what I keep telling myself, and I think it’s actually true.
Although I’ve had some very UNfine moments over the last week or so.
There’s been A LOT going on in my life that is too personal to share here, but suffice it to say – it’s been a “one foot in front of the other” kinda phase.
It might’ve been a rough week. 😛
It WAS a rough week. And not just physically.
I don’t know if you can see the discoloration below my knee…
That was 3 adventures ago. 😉 Here’s how THAT happened (or what was going on right BEFORE the “I didn’t make it” happened, lol):
Oh well… throw on a skirt & heels anyway, right?! lol,
They’ll go great with my adventure scars. 💪👠 haha
I’ve been making it a point to stay ACTIVE as much as I possibly can lately, so when it comes to my downtime – and especially social time with friends – I’m trying to get as much exercise out of every “get together” as I can.;)
It started with a night out dancing last Saturday, where I made it a point to dance almost EVERY song and get in more than 10,000 Fitbit steps doing it. 🙂
I got in trouble though, so I had to change clothes. I actually got asked to LEAVE, but I just changed into shorts and came back. 🙂
I was determined to get my 10,000 steps! haha
And, let me just say: Dance like nobody’s watching. Dance even if you can’t. Dance for the FUN of it! Dance by yourself even… like I did, in this video:
I had a great time, but I danced HARD and I danced for HOURS, and I danced so long and so hard that I ended up with puffy bruises on my feet:
You can’t really blame the 5 inch heels…
That was all me.
I’ve been pushing myself too hard lately, in too many areas – with no results.
This deserves a fair explanation for those of you that haven’t been following my story over the last year or so: I used to be an emotional binge eater. I would shut down and eat myself into a carb coma when I got upset, sad, lonely, pissed, whatever.
I had to create new habits, and overcome the issues that caused me to become so unhealthy and overweight. I decided anytime I feel upset, I would “pound it out on the pavement” instead of eating – so I took up walking.
My great dane and I could do 4 miles in 42 minutes on the worst days. lol.
Last weekend I was staying out of town, with my hotel being beside a Dunkin Donuts, and directly across from a Krispy Kreme and Baskin Robbins 🙄 all within eye shot the whole time. Not to mention the on-site pub with nothing but fried (comfort) food.
My night was going so bad the bartender gave me a free jello shot. I was seriously tempted – but it was full of sugar, so I passed. And danced instead. Hard. For hours.
I’m proud of myself for making good choices! Or the better of bad choices, lol.
I continued the next day on the trails.
I still felt like I needed to go pound it out, or work it off, or sweat it out. And so I did – bruised feet, a bit of a hangover, and a very bad (sad) mood even…
See that belly roll on me in the picture below?!
That is NEW. Ugh…
It was a gorgeous Spring day here in Tennessee, and I started off at the top of Cummins Falls. Not the overlook lol, literally the TOP of the waterfall.
It’s the perfect spot to sit and think…
Think about whether I’m up for this hike or not. Think about all the things swirling through my mind. Just STOP thinking and start feeling and experiencing the nature all the way around me.
Getting down to the bottom of Cummins Falls in Cookeville, TN requires a pretty strenuous (and very natural) hike. But it’s worth every step!
See that arrow I added? That’s where I was sitting earlier. 🙂
It was HOT for April, and the sunshine and exercise weren’t helping much. I also wasn’t in a mood to care what people thought, so… armpit tits, belly bulge… whatever. I was too disgusted with other things going in my life to be disgusted with myself in that moment. 😛
I decided I was NOT up for the hike.
I pushed myself to complete it anyway – all the way to the bottom and back.
There’s a point where the trail ends and you run out of rocks to climb over, and you’re forced to cross the river. The key is in finding the right spot to do that…
This is when I discovered my Fabletics Fanny Pack – which I LOVE for hands-free hiking, especially when I’m feeling adventurous 🙂 is… WATERPROOF! (lol)
I fell in the river and completely submerged it… and nothing at all got the slightest bit wet. NICE. 🙂
I did make it to the bottom and took a nice long rest on the big rocks facing Cummins Falls. It’s a gorgeous sight. I wasn’t in the mood though. All I was feeling though was sad and exhausted and wishing like h*ll my feet weren’t so bruised – because navigating those river rocks was a b*tch! 😛
Blah. I can’t believe how I look right now. It’s not horrible I know, but I worked SO hard last year losing that weight and toning up really well.
What are you going to do though? Give up and gain it all back? Not me. I’m going to do what I *can*, like I said, and push myself to just keep moving.
It’s not JUST about the exercise for me…
My hikes and outdoor adventures are therapeutic in so many ways. I always feel better for doing them, even when I don’t feel like taking that first step.
Nature has a way of showing you what’s important, and how the little things are really the big things, and the things you think are big things… are totally insignificant in the grand scheme of things. Or something.:)
I decided to push myself a little harder on the hike back out, and ditched the trail to climb the bluff instead. People do it all the time. Before the state bought the property and cut the trails, this used to be the only way down to the waterfall.
This particular climb is definitely a full body workout, requiring upper body strength when you’re unsure of your footholds, and a lot of focus and core balance.
I made it, of course. 🙂
That was last Sunday. Since then I’ve been hiking & camping (Wednesday) and did a little dancing this week – plus I went water skiing yesterday (on Saturday).
I wasn’t wearing my Fitbit most of the day on Saturday (yesterday) on the boat because I didn’t want the tan line – and it’s not waterproof. 😉
I wore a cute Fabletics tank & skirt as a cover-up over my swimsuit for the day on the lake. It was another gorgeous day for April!!
I still wasn’t feeling my best, but dressing nice definitely helps.
As does a few beers – low carb beers of course. 😉 It’s entirely too easy to “dress how you feel” – which does nothing for feeling better. 😛
I did have an awesome day. 🙂 A perfect day, even.
One full day of sunshine, music, exercise & smiles!
Michelob Ultra is 2.6 carbs per 12oz bottle.
Did I mention I feel GREAT in my clothes?
I do.
I need to keep them on. 😛 Ack! 😳
I had two choices: get disgusted with myself, or DO something about it.
The water is ice cold in April here in Tennessee, but I couldn’t exactly go for a run or a hike inside a boat, so… I decided to water ski. 🙂
Skiing is a GREAT full body workout!
Check out this video (lol)…
Here are the low carb foods I had in the cooler, which I ended up eating for dinner since we stayed out on the water pretty late:
I’m more active now than I’ve ever been in my adult life, and I’m in better physical shape than I’ve ever been. Even though I’m not in GREAT shape (yet!) I do have more strength, especially upper body strength, and I’m able to do things I couldn’t do at all before. Like pull myself up and over a ledge while climbing a bluff. 🙂 Or ski for more than 30 seconds, lol.
After all the sweat, sore muscles (sore feet!) and “dates with nature”… I do feel better. Through all of that I found the answer I needed: Work on what you CAN.
That’s exactly what I’m doing.
I’m forcing myself to wear clothes that FIT and clothes that FLATTER. All week I’ve been sorting and organizing, and I’m coming up with 3 piles: Fits Fine, Too Big, Too Ugly. I’m bad to wear the “too big” and “too ugly” instead of the newer “fits fine” clothes. 😛 Baggy, unflattering comfies are going OUT!
That’s been good therapy in itself – letting go of the “old me” with a commitment not to go back, or even wear “her” clothes again. ever.
I’m also FINDING new and different ways to exercise – outside of the gym.
A friend of mine is moving this week, and I offered to help – just for the exercise. And to be a good friend of course, but he didn’t seem to want any help. 😛 I was just thinking what a great upper body workout it would be to do some lifting and carrying some weight for a couple of hours…
Plus it would get me out of here, and get my mind off things for a bit.
Work on what you can…
I’ve gained two full pounds this week. So what?
I ate healthy, I ate low carb, I stayed on track, and I got tons of exercise – and had some GOOD moments and time with GREAT friends.
I’m just going to focus on the positive, put one foot in front of the other, and power through. Because that’s what you DO. Or that’s what I do NOW instead of pull the covers over my head with two pints of ice cream. 😛
By the time I got to sit down and write you this note, and share my week with you, things are already looking up. Or looking way less down. It was true what I said to myself: Everything is fine. Or at least it will be. 🙂
Onward and upward! And staying on track…
Best,
Lynn Terry,
aka @LowCarbTraveler
Discount Code: LOWCARBTRAVELER
Oh, Lynn… I’m so sorry you are going through all this. You are an amazing person and such an inspiration to so many. It’s our turn now to lift you up as you have done for us. You’ve got this! When I went through a major life change several years ago, I would tell myself daily (hourly if needed), “this too shall pass”.
You are doing all you can within your power and it WILL show and payoff. Keep the faith! You CAN and WILL do this! I will keep you in my prayers as well. Take care and things will work out!
Deb
Hate to hear you’re having such a rough go lately but you need to know you are as beautiful as ever inside and out and it is so great that you are just doing what you can
… because thats absolutely all we can do when we feel weak, destroyed, depressed…. I have been OK lately but on Friday I was a bit afraid of some of my decisions… I felt that if I continued on with a small choice I had made I was self sabotaging and asking for trouble. I had unblocked an ex and he started chatting with me. Nothing inappropriate but if my loving bf knew I even did that it would crush him. So he is reblocked and I am feeling proud because stupid little things like that are hard for me… just saying…that was me saving myself from a very stupid unnecessary disaster and icky feelings. We do what we can.. I want to be strong and good and smart and feel good about my decisions. Im rambling…. I am so proud of you and appreciate you so much. Smile, beautiful. This too shall pass…
I like that way of thinking. I appreciate you showing your real life, and that even though you have gained, you have still shared. You are so REAL. I’m still powering back from taking the summer and fall off. When the most recent challenge started I joined and recommitted. Made it thru 2 weeks now, maybe 3 I can’t remember what week we are on, but down 9 lbs. Hoping I can stay committed. I love this WOE, but I was weak. Last week my mom died, and I had ever oppty to cave and eat carbs, since I was so stressed, I found it ez to eat less. Ii used to think I was stress eater, but I am now thinking it was a boredom eater….I have made it thru, and Easter today, I made it thru brunch with not one cheat. Feeling Strong! Thanks for your thoughts. And still envious of your hikes, who takes your pics? Like when you were sitting in water and took from distance.
Sorry to hear that you are going through some tough times. Even though you are you continue to inspire us by making the right keto choices π btw…you looked like you really know what you are doing on the waterskis!
I’m happy to hear that through all the tough feelings you are working at being at peace! Peace be with you, and all of us. Hang tough
Girl, you just don’t know how much I needed to read this tonight. I’m going through the same type of funk and just trying to pull myself out of a funky situation. Just know, you are not alone in your “funk”! π Continue to dance like no one is watching. (this totally make me laugh and put a smile on my face) lol You go girl! We’ve got this………one step at a time!
I’m pretty sure that I gained 10 pounds this week!! I have been on a sugar high that I can’t get off of. I’m totally disgusted with myself. It has been a gradual down hill slide that I can’t climb out of. Thank you for sharing. Maybe I can get back on track because I am miserable.
You can do it Cindy! My sugar dragon is a beast and shows up at my weakest moments. But remember we’re all adults. We have to make the tough choices. We can all do anything if we put our mind to it!
You can do it Cindy! My sugar dragon is a beast and shows up at my weakest moments. But remember we’re all adults. We have to make the tough choices. We can all do anything if we put our mind to it!
I could so have written that myself… hanging 5-10lbs higher than I want to hang…I was at goal…stress in my life, 2 courses of antibiotics this winter…trying to be more active and trying new things….and yes putting one foot in front of the other. Nothing seeming to budge….<3
Be kind to ourselves and one day at a time…
You are such an inspiration and are beautiful. I admire your ability to bare your soul and tell it like it is. Not everyone can do that. Thank you for all your tips and everything you say and do to boost everyone’s spirits. You are the best and I look forward to your posts every week.
You are an inspiration! You are real! And that’s what I love about you. Keep going, one foot in front of the other. You have a great team of followers here who appreciate your candor! I know I do! Getting weddings ready hasn’t been easy, but you are a mentor to me! Thank you for sharing. And remember we are our own worst critic. I think you look fabulous!
Like you I’ve been battling depression. I thought I was keeping it hidden but I got called out. My cravings were maddening so I gave myself a day that turned into a week to eat whatever I wanted. 24 hours after eating carbage my depression began to lift. 2 weeks ago I went back to LCHF and I still have not achieved ketosis. Not sure what the deal is. I’ve been reading everything I can to try and figure out what’s going on.
I hope you can find a solution for you too. Just know your not alone in this
You have my curiosity peeked… why were you asked to leave the bar? Were you misbehaving?
Thanks for this post. So much hit home with me. You have our backs and we have yours. Keep on keeping on!
Thank you for always keeping it real, Lynn. Even though we’ve never met, I love ya and I am praying for you.
Treasure yourself, you are awesome…………….Always remember that and be happy!
Wishing you health and all good things. Keep up the good work.
Keeping it real! That’s why I look forward to your posts. Thank you for all you do to help the rest of us here. I’ve been where you are due to some serious health issues. Some days, weeks, months it feel like an uphill battle. But I keep thinking of the view when I finally get to the top! So as you’ve encouraged me, you just have to keep on keeping on! I’m praying for you!
I appreciate you being so transparent. You are brave. You are an inspiration. Thank you!
I hate that you are going through a rough time … but it’s also nice that you share the bad and the good. You truly are an inspiration to all of us Lynn and hope you know (and I’m sure I speak for all of your fans) that we are always here for YOU as you are for us. Hang in there … and don’t beat yourself up. You are human!
Just curious…who is taking the photos of you and what did you do to get in trouble and be asked to leave the dance club? So depressing to me that with all that exercise you are not losing more weight… I am stuck also but don’t do all the exercising you do!!!
Just curious…who is taking the photos of you and what did you do to get in trouble and be asked to leave the dance club? So depressing to me that with all that exercise you are not losing more weight… I am stuck also but don’t do all the exercising you do!!!
I had both of these questions!!
My lack of weight loss was to do with medications I was on. It turns out the antibiotic threw me out of ketosis – I didn’t know that would cause that. Good to know!
I usually take my own photos using voice commands and the interval shots feature with my cell phone – unless I have friends with me. π
As for why I got asked to leave… just because the guy was being a jerk. π lol
For someone I have never met, I have never been so inspired ! Lynn, it’s definitely an inspiration to see you not be so hard on yourself and know that bad days happen. I read your blog daily and you have helped me through more than you’ll ever know! Hugs to you and thank you for walking this journey with so many!
I appreciate your honesty Lynn and you are such an inspiration, even when things aren’t going well.
I have to ask, cos I’m nosy like that. What they heck did you do to get thrown out of the dance hall?
Thank you for sharing your high’s and low’s. You are inspiring!
Take it from me, you do NOT look disgusting in any of these pictures. Give yourself a break! Hope you feel better soon!
Thank you so much, Tom. π Sadly, my feeling “disgusting” was so much more about internal things than external appearances. It was to do with how I was being treated, and things that were said to me, and how I allowed that to affect me.
Lesson learned – in my choice to accept and internalize such things, no matter who they come from, even if it’s someone you love. Because in the end, you must love yourself equally as much, if not more. *cheers*
Thank you, all of you, for your support and encouragement.
The last 6+ months have been a mind-spin of a whirlwind. P
If you haven’t had a chance to read my update, it’s here – and I really hope these “lessons learned” prove as helpful to you as they have for me: http://www.travelinglowcarb.com/16937/weight-loss-mindset-and-challenges/
π *cheers*